Secrets

This notebook was one of the three notebooks that caught my eye that same day I went to the store, on the day my eye caught sight of what would be Caterpillar and the Pretty Things journal. It is tall but narrow and relatively thick, with lined pages each adorned with black spaces for "Date" and "Page" at the top, field labels typed in lovely cursive font. I bought it on 03 August 2026 when I got tired of the Kai journal. A bound notebook was much better for daily journaling, I think. This notebook came with a removable clear PVC cover which makes for pockets in the inside and a modular cover overall that gives way to customization. The plastic cover has corny writing—"Happiness diary" it calls itself. I wanted to erase it, tried with acetone and 99% isopropyl alcohol but I couldn't get it off. I stuck stickers on the cover around the writing, and ended up framing the text even more, but it's fine now. In the pocket of the plastic cover I keep a folded up loose leaf page that is my memorable moments tracker where I record the highlight of each day.

In the daytime I log whatever I'm doing and include its timestamp. Its purpose is to help me remember what I've been doing. At night around 8:30PM, the last entry of every day is meant for dumping out whatever thoughts I have to put to rest before going to bed. I do this in the dark with nothing but a lamp and the few bugs that also live in my room. At most I have an album playing, but no video in the background, laptop off. Sometimes I transfer from my desk and write on my bed with my phone as a light source. I write until I get sleepy at around 10PM.

An impulse purchase off my local college's Facebook marketplace set off by my friend telling me "why not, it's cunty". The cover is a blush pink faux crocodile leather with a strip of lace at the front. The inner side is a fuzzy lining without pockets. There are four strings to slip inserts through.

I bring this journal everywhere with me.

1. a project tracker – the sumikage zombies note; a structured thinking notebook specifically for my creative outputs
2. a thinking notebook – a thin "binder filler" notebook cut down to 9.5 × 14 cm; a thinking notebook for more general things
3. a planner – the sara note; weekly overviews where I organize tasks and reminders by date

• two folder inserts – to hold sticky notes, small memo pads, tape and other supplies and papers
• an ampao – to hold stickers and paper cutouts for decorating
• an envelope – to hold loose papers for a long time

• a steno notepad — slipped into the planner's folder insert's pocket, it's a dump of tasks that I could pull from to put in the planner
• sticky notes, mini memos & washi tape — in case an idea is too short-lived or requires portable existence, or if a page runs out of room, they're written onto sticky notes or memo pads and are stuck on wherever; usually more to-do lists, idea dumps to be transferred into their respective journals, shopping lists, indexes and reminders
• a mini clipboard — made from a mini binder clip and the tag from a pair of pants; in case bringing the whole cunt note becomes impractical, this allows me to take sticky notes or little memos into my purse without it getting crumpled
• little doodles and printed cutouts of my favorite characters
• a three of hearts card and a Hello Kitty ace of diamonds card

A little green notebook with a hard cover made of fabric and foam. It has a white faux leather strip with a button clasp functioning as its closure. It was one of the three notebooks that caught my eye at the store. At that time I didn't have a purpose to give it, until two weeks later. Luckily it was still in the store when I came back.

Its small form holds the things I feel compelled to never tell anyone—things I don't want to believe are happening to me, or that I am the actor of. I feel embarrassed that it exists, since it fails to soothe me anyway. It's an aid for repeating—a home for these ideas to depart from and take refuge in. Things I want to remember but have no hope for.

I saw this notebook in the store when I was trying to cheer up buying stationery. It was one of the three notebooks that caught my eye that day—the three of which I eventually purchased. But its price was out of my budget for that day and I had no purpose to bestow it. I returned to the notebooks I had at home but I couldn't stop thinking about it afterwards. It was so pretty to me when I first saw it; it has a red plaid patterned cover that made me think of warmth. And thus I decided that would it be its purpose. I went to the store the next day and bought it. Upon seeing it for the real thing, it turns out the cover is made of some kind of molded vinyl and not cloth like I thought, and the plaid printing isn't even straight which is made apparent by the elastic that keeps it closed. It's cheap and imperfect and that's okay.

This journal is the reserved kind—not meant to be written in every day. It primarily holds "forever lists", anything that is the utmost beautiful, and reflections on recent adventures.

A forever list spread is created every month to section the time. These lists consist of records of my active interests, hobbies and activities, all the pretty things I experienced, and my creations for that month. On the following pages I write down quotes, excerpts and poems, express appreciation for stupid but lovely things, and write my thoughts on media I've consumed. I also junk journal with packaging I thought was cute. I created pockets at the front and back sides of the notebook to hold loose papers of pretty things.

My mom bought it for me since it matched my school bag at the time, which was black with pink flamingo print. I thought it was so perfect that I didn't use it for seven years. There was an attempt to use it as a planner years ago but the routine didn't catch on. This year when I dug out all my old notebooks in storage, I was still stumped as to what I should do with this notebook. When I accepted that I kind of actually hate it now, it gained purpose as another catch-all thinking book.I write drafts, explore creative ideas, jot down notes and sometimes write my daily journaling here.

I bought it because the cover reminded me of Meel, and it was a little ugly that I thought it was perfect for another trashbook. This specifically is for compositions with fuller writing. On numerous occasions I find myself writing essays or stories in my pocket notebooks which I don't find very good since my pocket notebooks contain only a few pages that would get eaten up quickly. This notebook is relatively thick and has a yellow smiley emoji with nerd glasses and fish fins on the cover. The sides of the pages are colored yellow and have multicolored smiley faces on them. The notebook has a elastic band to keep it closed and a little ribbon as a page bookmark.

This is a notebook I bought on an indulgent shopping trip around stationery shops. Its pages are completely black. It has beautiful illustrations and inscriptions of The Little Prince on the front cover, in black and red reflective material that shine at certain angles. It's the Prince looking up at his Rose, towering over him.

I ought to turn this into a general trashbook, recording literally anything that came to my mind. But now it's a trashbook specifically for my not-safe-for-work creative writings and reflections. Pencil is the only instrument that produces readable marks albeit at certain angles. I write my ideas and headcanons for erotic fanfiction, my thoughts on some stuff I read, and hypothetically drafts of my own erotic works. I choose to write these on black paper since it feels too embarrassing to write such topics on white paper where I could clearly read what I'm writing as I wrote it.

It was acquired in January of 2023 with the desire to turn it into a Pompompurin & Kai Satou themed journal. The cover is a pastel yellow faux leather. It used to be decorated with Pompompurin and YTTD character stickers until 2026 when I decided I hated it and peeled them all off. The cover remains bland and ugly until now. An attempt to refresh its cover has been made by starting a crochet book cover project but has been put in an indefinite pause.

Past 7:30PM begins the timeslot alotted for my nightly journaling routine. I simply write about my day, answer prompts or get out anything I want out of my brain. This journal is reserved for my self in the real world and less my creative endeavors which have their own places everywhere else. It also archives miscellaneous papers like doodles, trackers and collages. I'm using it until I run out of A5 refill loose leaves.

The Kai journal was retired on 03 August 2026 since it was simply too unpleasant to use. It now functions as an archive for my past entries and pages, as well as collages. The leather cover makes its pages feel safe. It is stowed away in a box under my desk. Sometimes I take it out to retrieve anything I wanted to see again.

This is where I still chase the ideal that is aesthetic art. There is a level of extra-preciousness alotted to this sketchbook that impedes me sometimes, but I trust it. I draw and color in this because drawing is fun and I want to create. The covers are covered with stickers from local artists. There used to be more stickers but they all peeled off due to the cover's texture, so I wrapped it with tape. The cover is a beautiful brown cloth kind of material that sparkles.

This is a smaller sketchbook that I could easily bring and take out in public when I'm bored. The drawings are understandably uglier here because the goal is to just pass the time.

I created this out of sheets of watercolor paper out of a want to have a bound collation of watercolor pages. I don't use it enough.